Out Of Control

Control...The dictionary describes it as this: the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events. 

The other day while driving my daughter home from school, we were sitting at a red light.  All of a sudden we were thrown forward.  Confused and shaken we realized someone had hit the back of my car. Something that affected us tremendously, but we had no control over it.  One minute you're sitting there minding your own business, then BAM..it hits you hard.

This reminds me of my life struggles right now...I didn't see them coming, they hit me hard, and I have no control over them.  Just like the accident, I have to assess the damage.  We all do.  We have choices when we make this assessment. Sometimes you have to make a change because the damage is just to much...it's unrepairable.  Other times it may seem salvageable, but you're afraid to get behind the wheel again.

I think the reason I feel the need to have more control right now, is that all the major areas of my life are spinning out of control.  I watch as they spiral down and there is nothing I can really do about it.  It can be a depressing realization if you let it.  Reflecting on this, maybe I'm wrong. I know I don't have the power to influence others behavior, or the course of events, but I can have influence on myself.  One way is how I (well we all) have to view control.  We have to give up our control to God.  Give up all my control to God? It's a hard thing to do.  But the fact is we don't have any control to "give up to God"...it's already all His!  So where does the desire to control come from?  We think control guarantees us the life we want...we are trying to guarantee the outcomes we think we need.  So what drives control?  I would think fear and anxiety could. 

So as I assess my life and my situations, I'm reminded that God is in control and that I must make a conscience effort to trust Him, that He will give me the strength and the grace to deal with my struggles.  For that I'm thankful.